More than too much tmi..

In January of 2009, I made a confession to Ken that sent him reeling with laughter and left him a little horrified.

I said “sometimes I feel like my crotch smells like a Chipotle Burrito.” Ken stared at me blankly and I continued, “and it sometimes makes me crave it.”

Then I told him that I had never told that to anybody and that I had often considered putting it on a post card and sending it to PostSecret.com because surely there was somebody out there who had a crotch that smelled like a Chipotle burrito, or even a Taco Bell one, and I needed to know.  At first Ken assured me that this secret was one of those that you certainly kept to yourself, but the creative director in him couldn’t help but get involved when I ignored him and explained to him the vision I had for how the card would turn out if I decided to send it in.

So we got to work.

First stop, where else–Chipotle Burrito.

I took a picture of my burrito with my little Sony camera and couldn’t stop giggling. Then Ken interrupted, “wait, I got a really great idea.” Then he made a few adjustments to the appearance of the burrito and I laughed out loud while taking the shot.

Then we went home and I tweeted about it with a vague reference to a secret project we were working on together, never really knowing if anyone who read the tweet would ever be privy to this secret. And of course, nobody ever asked.

16142981

So we made the card, sent it in to PostSecret, and waited.

Nothing.
Nothing.
And more nothing.

I hadn’t thought about this at all until the conversation with Berna last night and I thought, you know–fuck Frank, I’LL show the world my secret because I am not ashamed.  Well, mostly because a few of you stopped by to comment that random parts of your body also sometimes smelled funky, so yeah. Without further ado…

The result:

couscous

Which to this date has never been published and I can not imagine why.

** Concept: my idea

**Burrito opened to reveal a guacamole labia: totally Ken’s BRILLIANT IDEA.

TOO MUCH TMI.

Me: I just burped corn.
I ate corn almost 48 hours ago.

Berna: Lol
Sometimes my pee smells like fritos and I hardly ever eat fritos

Me: my crotch sometimes smells like chipotle burritos.
which incidentally is where I had the corn from yesterday.

Berna: Lol

Me: its really odd.
because then it makes me crave chipotle.
then im like UGH what the fuck is wrong with me.

Berna: Lol

Me: my nose is fucked up so I cant smell anything or I smell things that dont exist.
because ken can confirm that my crotch does not smell like chipotle burritos.

Berna: That happens to me too!
Lol

Me: and after a workout I could swear that my armpits smell like big macs
and I know you sweat out smells of the food you eat
but i do not eat mcdonald big macs.

Berna: Lol

Me: and my feet smell like doritos
that might be true though
when we were little tina and i said doritos were named after dirty toes.

Berna: lol

Me: ken said a weird thing to me today.
he was like when are you going to start blogging again?

Berna: Why is that weird

Me: said he wanted me to start blogging again.
so I told him I would tonight.
and I think the conversation we just had qualifies as a blog entry.
but the people will know your pee smells like fritos.

Berna: well just make sure u say that sometimes it does
Cause it doesn’t always

Me: duly noted.

Too long for a tweet

The people with NOBAMA stickers on their car make me giggle.  They remind me of the type of people who would proudly hang a banner at their son’s graduation exclaiming congraduations!  That’s what I think of anyway, every time I see those stickers.

twenty ten

So this is exactly how I want 2010 to be for me:

twentyten from myfuckingeye on Vimeo.

I can (sort of) speak three languages now.

Sometimes when I’m hanging out with Ken, I will randomly spout out what I’m sure are Chinese words that I have managed to pick up in the 8 and a half years of knowing him. Then I’ll badger him asking, “did I say anything, did I say anything?”

Usually the answer is a resounding no.

Then today while recalling a really funny episode of The Big Bang Theory, where Howard is teaching Sheldon to speak Chinese — I reenacted the scene using my own Chinese words.  And I spoke real Chinese. I SPOKE CHINESE, albeit unintentional, but I spoke fucking Chinese!

My sentence: 4 dead is.

So I’m trilingual and a philosopher .

Awesome.

The light burned out

the one in our master bedroom ceiling fan. When Ken jumped on the bed to remove the cover–I stood below him waiting to see what kind of light bulb would be exposed so Id know what to look for in the basement. Turns out the ceiling fan had this odd light bulb, in the shape of a ring that was about 9 inches in diameter. I said, who the fuck decided it was cool to buy a ceiling fan that uses light bulbs that look like that? Where the fuck do we even buy a replacement?

Ken said, I imagine the same place where we bought the fan–home depot was it?

Always the rational one, whatever.

He climbed off the bed and said, hey Esthela, what do you think of this?

This being him holding the light bulb up to his nose like a nose ring. I laughed.

I said, thats funny, but what do you think of this? I took it from him and held it up to the corner of my eyebrow. He laughed.

He said, I guess thats pretty funny, but what do you think of this? He held it up to his crotch. I laughed.

I said, that is pretty hilarious, but what do you think of this? I held it up to my one of my nipples. He laughed.

He said, that is pretty funny, but what do you think of this? Then he picked Lily up, turned her over and attached it to one of her many nipples.

AND I FUCKING LAUGHED!

Amy wants a new post

I keep telling her I’ll update when something interesting happens.

This isn’t enough for her, so I’ll update now that something insulting has happened.

1 Tip of a flat belly : – Fatburningfurnace.com – Cut down 3 lbs of your belly every week by keeping this 1 weird tip.

That is what an advertisement on the side of an email read within gmail.

In an email that included a picture of me.

Rude.