My uncle Elias is in the hospital.

He had open heart surgery to replace some veins (or arteries?) near his heart that were taken from his legs. The surgery went well, but now he’s in rehab for physical therapy. He’s 81 years old. We found him totally distraught lying in his bed and since he couldn’t fight the tears—he just let it all out. There is nothing more heart breaking than seeing a man who thinks he’s on the verge of death crying his heart out. I don’t really know if he was crying because of how scared he was or because of how alone he was. My mom said no one had gone to see him in days.

I felt guilt over being 46 years younger than him as if parading it around the room while he laid in bed near the end of his life.

But he’s not at the end of his life, he’s just in therapy. Still, though, his spirit was hard to lift, because he kept going back and forth between how he’s never going to walk again or how the inside of the hospital room will be the last thing he sees. I gave him a pep talk and bought him a teddy bear from the gift shop that he was hugging tightly when we left.

This journal entry is all over the place. I’m scared for my uncle.

One Comment

  1. Martie
    Posted June 29, 2009 at 12:05 am | Permalink

    My Father In Law just had 6 bypass’s, w veins taken from his legs, also. Well, in March. He has recovered well (hes 62). But he now is grouchier than he normally was prior to the surgery. You’re Uncle probably won’t be grouchier–since you bought him a teddy bear–we bought Mr. Grouch NOTHING. hee hee

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